What It Actually Means to Be in Your Feminine Energy (And Why It’s Not Just About Drinking Tea in the Sunshine)

Not sure about you, but in my world, the advice for women to be in their “Feminine energy” is everywhere. It’s on my feed, in conversations, and it’s a big part of the self-development space. But let’s be real—it’s also incredibly confusing advice.

I’m so here for being in your Feminine energy as a way to feel more confident, whole, and deeply worthy. Once you understand it—and more importantly embody it—life becomes a whole lot more easeful, fulfilling, and vibrant.

But let’s clear something up: being in your Feminine doesn’t mean frolicking through fields, sipping herbal tea, and meditating under the moon every day. (Though hey, sometimes it does mean exactly that). It also doesn’t mean you’re giving up your strength, ambition, or power as a woman. In fact, it’s the opposite.

The Feminine is soft, yes. She’s nurturing, yes. But she’s also fiery. She’s bold. She’s the version of you who stands up for herself, sets boundaries, and backs the absolute shit out of herself.

Let’s unpack what it actually means to be a modern woman who’s embodied in her Feminine energy—and why that doesn’t happen without a strong relationship to your Masculine energy too.

The Dance Between Masculine & Feminine

Every Sunday, I plan my week like clockwork: I map everything out on my whiteboard and iPhone calendar, do the groceries with my meals planned to a T, write out my goals, and prep my food.

These are what many would call Masculine tasks—logical, structured, action-based. But without doing them, I wouldn’t have the space in my week to just be—to drop into the present moment, cook delicious meals, spend quality time with my loved ones, and flow through life with calmness and joy.

Here’s the secret: You can’t fully be in your Feminine without activating your Masculine side. Your inner Masculine is the part of you that is disciplined, structured, and decisive. Without him? Your inner Feminine often feels unsafe, chaotic, scattered, and overwhelmed.

So while being in your Feminine is about flow, presence, creativity, and magnetism, accessing that requires a container—structure, clarity, and grounded energy. A beautiful metaphor for this is thinking of your Masculine as the riverbanks that allow your Feminine waters to flow freely.

One of my favourite ways to frame discipline (a traditionally Masculine trait) is through the lens of devotion—a deeply Feminine term. Devotion to yourself looks like showing up for your commitments, even when you can’t be bothered. But sometimes, devotion means slowing down, skipping the workout because your body is calling for rest, or taking time to process emotions rather than push through them.

Rule of thumb? If you’re not following through with what you say you will less than 20% of the time—and you’re not seeing it as a pattern—you’re sweet. We’re not aiming for perfection, we’re aiming for devotion to self.

The Art of Receiving

Let’s talk about something a lot of us struggle with: receptivity.

I used to have this thing—when a man bought me a drink, I’d immediately buy one back. Not because I wasn’t stoked with a free voddy lime soda, but because I felt uncomfortable receiving. I thought I was being polite or “doing the right thing,” but really, I was blocking myself from being in a state of Feminine receptivity.

To be in your Feminine is to receive. It’s accepting compliments without deflecting. It’s allowing people to support you. It’s being open to miracles and magic unfolding without trying to control the outcome.

When you're in a receptive state, you're operating from worthiness. You trust that good things are meant for you. The opposite? Doubting, controlling, overthinking, self-sabotaging—basically forcing life rather than flowing with it.

This is a powerful shift when it comes to romantic relationships, too. Good men want to protect, provide, and pursue. It goes all the way back to caveman days: men were the hunters; women were the gatherers.

So when a woman resists receiving—whether that’s a compliment, a gift, or a thoughtful gesture—it throws off the polarity that creates attraction. The Masculine wants to hunt. The Feminine allows herself to be found.

Remember: the sperm finds the egg. Polarity is just as important in long-term relationships as it is in dating. Keep tuning in: are you letting your partner lead sometimes? Are you still being open, soft, grateful, and receptive to his efforts?

Self-Worth Is the Root of Everything

I often get asked what’s contributed most to my success and sense of fulfilment. My answer? High self-worth and belief in myself.

But I’ll be honest—I didn’t always feel this way. There was a time I based my entire worth on how productive and successful I was. Slowing down made me feel guilty. Rest felt like failure. My calendar was packed to the brim, and I was anxious, overwhelmed, and deeply disconnected.

It wasn’t until my Traumatic Brain Injury stripped away everything I thought made me “worthy” that I realised how whole, valuable, and beautiful I was—just as I am. No titles. No accolades. No hustle.

You’ll never outperform your self-concept. If you don’t believe you’re worthy of the thing, you’ll unconsciously sabotage it. You’ll delay, procrastinate, or convince yourself out of it before it even arrives.

True self-worth means not letting the external define your value. It’s holding your centre, even when your feed is quiet, your love life is messy, or your career hits a wobble. Sure, these moments might dip your vibe temporarily—but high self-worth means you can bounce back faster.

Feeling Is Healing

Let’s talk emotions.

Growing up, like so many of us, I was taught that uncomfortable emotions were bad. Sadness? Anger? Disappointment? They needed to be “fixed” and moved on from immediately. Even the question “What’s wrong with you?” implies something is wrong.

I was conditioned to avoid discomfort. And let me tell you—it made me reactive, avoidant, and anxious.

Being in your Feminine means feeling. Not bypassing. Not numbing. Not pretending everything’s okay when it’s not.

These days, we have endless distractions—social media, dating apps, Netflix—at the touch of a button. Instant pleasure, zero processing. I remember being ghosted by a guy I liked and jumping straight back on dating apps the next day just to avoid the pain.

Now? I give myself space. I won’t date for at least a month after something ends. Because I know that long-term gratification—the kind that builds resilience and emotional intelligence—comes from leaning in.

A little note here: there’s a difference between pain and suffering. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Pain is the heartbreak, the disappointment, the grief. Suffering is the looping thoughts, self-blame and over-analysis that keep us stuck in it. You’ll know when it’s time to lovingly draw the line.

Final Thoughts

So, my love—being tapped into your Feminine energy won’t always be sunshine and rainbows. But I guarantee it will bring you more depth, more fulfilment, and more joy than any checklist of external achievements ever could.

Let yourself be both the ocean and the structure that holds it. Be soft and strong. Receptive and clear. Feel it all and flow with it. The Feminine is full spectrum - she is everything.

This is your invitation to come home to your Feminine—and never leave again.