Girl Boss vs. Soft Girl: Do Ambitious Women Really Have to Choose?

For ambitious women, the cultural messaging right now is confusing.

Not long ago we were in the thick of the girl boss era which was all about hustle, achievement, and rising to the top. Today the pendulum has swung into the soft girl era which encourages rest, ease, and slowing down.

So which is it? Should women chase money and goals, or prioritise softness and presence?

The truth is that you don’t have to choose.

The Power of Holding Both

You can stack cash, set bold goals, and work hard while doing it from a place of wholeness, pleasure, and abundance. This is not about either or. It is about embracing the polarity of both achievement and connection.

Burnout does not come from doing too much. Burnout comes from being out of alignment with who you are while you do it.

Why a Body-First Approach Matters

This is why I believe in a body-first approach. When your body and hormones feel safe, calm, and regulated, your thoughts naturally follow suit. You set boundaries with more ease, stay present in your hustle, and expand your capacity to achieve without tipping into burnout.

Oxytocin vs. Dopamine

Here is where it gets interesting. For women, regulation often comes through oxytocin, the hormone linked to love, connection, and belonging. For men, it is more commonly through dopamine, the reward hormone.

I am not demonising dopamine. Reward has its place. But for women, connection is just as powerful for achieving goals as an extra work session or late-night grind.

Expanding Your Capacity

Thriving as an ambitious woman is not about doing less. It is about increasing your capacity to hold more. To build wealth and nurture connection. To work hard and honour your body. To embrace both the “girl boss” and the “soft girl” within you.

Because success is not about choosing one identity. It is about integrating both, from a place of wholeness.